well, she came over today. it was not on my list of things to do, but im glad it happened. it’s been a while since we had spoken, and she seemed to be a bit confused and anxious because she thought her boyfriend broke up with her. Am i okay with being the counselling friend? idk i guess i am, but why even worry about it. my love for her is nothing more or less than a dried up bloodstain on a razor blade. 

 she is beautiful though, it seemed like i spent more than 5 minutes racing around her body with my eyes, while her voice rang softly in my ears. something she said caught me though; loneliness… i wanted to tell her that i felt the same way, and that maybe we could keep each other company when the world unmercifully tossed us aside. but the words never left the void hidden within my skull. are we even friends anymore? I really wanna give it a shot, but there is this lingering emotion, not a painful one like sadness or anger, but not pleasant in the slightest that keeps me away.


now here i am laying on my bed watching the clouds go by as a sweet gentle breeze brushes against my cheek, and the only thing i can think of is you, the one that got away.

maybe I am thinking too much.

I just wanna play with your naughty bits.